For Cathy
(Nolo Contendere)

I miss your touch -
the frantic clutching you thought could hold me
& I touched you back, hoping you were right.

I miss your words,
so strategically candy-coated -
mocking my gullibility.

I miss your smile of joy
& reassurance,
when actually there were neither.

I miss your eyes
glazed over with wrecklessness & speed -
how they tried to penetrate me
like a straw through a brick.

I miss your air -
incorrigible kinesis of youth unbound -
how you danced all around me
& how I tried so desperately to join in.

I miss your lips, your thighs, your warmth & lies.
I miss the love that held me in transit
for so long.
I miss what I was..

- Barry Kapke, 1977
Lincoln, NE